Ex-addict gets 2nd chance at motherhood | Momaha Blogs

? Photo showcase: Amber McDonald?s journey

? Video: Interviews about Amber?s story

Editor?s note: This article was originally published on Omaha.com

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In a courtroom on a Tuesday, 29-year-old Amber McDonald experienced a first: She graduated.

The once drug-addicted mother, a high school dropout, graduated from a little-known family drug treatment court in Douglas County that specializes in treating parents of children age 3 and under.

Amber has two children: Ryan, a teenage son being raised by his grandmother with help from the state; and Justis, a bouncy toddler girl who was destined for foster care when she entered the world in March 2011 with methamphetamine in her little 5-pound, 10-ounce body.

Not wanting to repeat the mistakes she made parenting Ryan, Amber got herself cleaned up. She completed a residential drug treatment program geared to mothers of infants and small children. She got an apartment. She married a longtime boyfriend, Justis? father. She got a job.

This court hearing represented the successful completion of her recovery. It was a celebration. It was called, aptly, a commencement.

Amber saw this beginning as a second chance at motherhood.

?I just want to be a good mom,? she said. ?I can?t try to fix what already was. I can try to make the future better.?

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ALYSSA SCHUKAR/THE WORLD-HERALD

Looking back, Amber can point to a lot of reasons she became a tweaker, drug jargon for methamphetamine users.

There was the rough home life ? her pot-smoking father who poorly hid his own stashes and didn?t act to curb his children?s drug use. Amber took her first puff of marijuana at age 11.

There was the downward spiral of school. Amber threw a desk at a teacher and was kicked out of seventh grade. She landed at alternative school, got pregnant and had her first baby, Ryan, at age 14.

Amber found herself inescapably behind at Benson High with fourth-grade math skills ? no match for algebra. Overwhelmed, she skipped school. Her landing spot? A drug flophouse home of a wayward friend where methamphetamine was plentiful.

But ultimately, she points the finger at herself.

By age 17, she was hooked on meth. She didn?t eat much. Weight melted off her short frame. Her teeth rotted.

Daycare and her father wound up taking care of Ryan, who suffered burn injuries when he accidentally set his bed on fire at age 3.

Amber had been passed out in the bed next to his; her son?s screams and her father?s pounding on the door woke her up.

Child Protective Services investigated but didn?t pursue criminal charges and left Ryan in his mother?s care.

Amber moved in with a boyfriend, 13 years older. He wasn?t accustomed to the noise, energy and responsibility of a busy preschool boy.

Amber, overwhelmed and on-again-off-again with drugs, resumed contact with her estranged mother. Amber had essentially broken ties with Lisa McDonald when her mother left her father and moved out of the family?s home.

One day she called her mother and said: Take my son.

McDonald took in her then almost 5-year-old grandson. She remains his formal guardian today.

?I pretty much chose drugs,? Amber said regretfully, ?over him.?

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Amber holds an old photo of herself with her son, Ryan.
ALYSSA SCHUKAR/THE WORLD-HERALD

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Amber and her boyfriend spent the next decade getting high, finding and losing jobs and living out of a camper.

By 2010, Amber wound up pregnant again.

She used drugs throughout her pregnancy and on March 29, 2011, gave birth two weeks early to baby Justis.

The State of Nebraska promptly stepped in and became the baby?s guardian. Custody was awarded to Amber?s mother. A caseworker told Amber to be honest about her drug use or risk losing Justis permanently.

Amber spilled her guts: She admitted using methamphetamine and marijuana.

Justis went home with Grandma. Amber got her second chance.

Deemed a nonviolent offender with little official criminal record, her case was diverted to Douglas County Zero to Three Family Drug Treatment Court and Amber was put up at Family Works, a nonprofit residential treatment program run by Heartland Family Service.

Amber could work on her sobriety and live with Justis ? a setup that advocates say benefits both parents and children.

The past 1? years haven?t been easy. Even with the help, there were hurdles.

Such as the temptation-laden Park Avenue location of Family Works. Or living in close quarters with other recovering mothers, one of whom got in a fight with Amber, which resulted in Amber?s brief removal from that program.

Such an event can trigger a relapse. It didn?t in Amber. And she has, so far, prevailed.

Court records chart the progress of mother and child. In September, when Amber was three months? sober, 6-month-old Justis could get up on all fours and scoot backward. In December, when Amber hit six months? sobriety, a caseworker wrote that Justis was ?way above where she needs to be.?

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ALYSSA SCHUKAR/THE WORLD-HERALD

Fast-forward to Tuesday.

Sitting in the front row of the drug court were Amber, Tim and a squirmy, squealing, happy Justis. Big brother Ryan sat behind.

Joining them were the bevy of people who held Amber accountable, who brought her to this day. They included family: both her parents and her mother?s partner came. And officials: the tender-hearted judge, the brotherly family permanency specialist, the therapist who charted Justis? development, Amber?s own attorney.

And as measure of how far Amber had come ? and the hope within her reach ? were other mothers at various stages of drug treatment. Moms midway through who, like her, were fighting to get their children back from foster care. Moms on the other side who, so far, have made it.

?Just keep doing what you?re doing,? said Kelli Thurman, who went through drug court in 2005.

?Drug court gave you a second chance to be a mom,? said Patty Reimers, who marked two years clean. ?They didn?t just say, ?Go away. You?re bad.??

There were kind words and homemade cupcakes.

And like graduates do, Amber beamed.

Holding her squirming daughter, she told the court: ?I?m very happy.?

Contact the writer: 402-444-1136, erin.grace@owh.com, twitter.com/ErinGraceOWH

Copyright ?2012 Omaha World-Herald?. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, displayed or redistributed for any purpose without permission from the Omaha World-Herald.

Source: http://blogs.momaha.com/2012/08/20299/

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